Adult Kids on a Spending Spree? 4 Reasons Why Not to Bail Them Out Financially

Most of us know that “someone” — a sibling, friend, relative, or colleague — once they run short of money, a quick call to the bank of Mom and Dad solves their issues. As parents, we need the best for our children, no matter how old they get. And when we have the means, it’s even harder to stand by and let them bond themselves from their money troubles. But even if we are in a position to help them out, without jeopardizing our own fiscal situation, should we?

Most of us know that “someone” — a sibling, friend, relative, or colleague — once they run short of money, a quick call to the bank of Mom and Dad solves their issues. As parents, we need the best for our children, no matter how old they get. And when we have the means, it’s even harder to stand by and let them bond themselves from their money troubles. But even if we are in a position to help them out, without jeopardizing our own fiscal situation, should we?

Personal finance experts often agree, bailing healthy, employable adult children out of their spending problems doesn’t do them any favours. And if you’ve helped your children in the past, going ahead, in the event that you truly need to help them be successful, find ways to be supportive without throwing open the vault since they figure out how to manage their affairs on their own.

Here are 4 reasons why bailing adult children outside financially is a bad idea, and what to do instead:

1. It Can Jeopardize Your Own Financial Future

Bailing your adult kids out of their money troubles can place your financial future on shaky ground. Parents don’t have exactly the same timeline and capacity to recoup from a financial setback, and children that aren’t good with their cash, likely won’t be able to help you out should you encounter troubles later on.

Most people underestimate how much aging will cost; out of paying for emergencies, making a comfortable retirement life, to medical costs, or senior homes– cash that you’ve worked hard to conserve, keep it safe. There are different techniques to support a child going through a tough financial time.

2. You Don’t Want to Reward Bad Behaviour

Remember those tantrums your toddlers threw to attempt to get what they need? It was bad enough when the children were little; throwing a tantrum as an adult, you’re setting yourself up for elder abuse if the arguments continue. Reinforcing bad conduct by giving in to your child, at any age, is something that you ought to prevent.

3. It Can Be Hard to Treat Kids Equally When Going Above and Beyond for One of Them

Money doesn’t tend to bring out the very best in people and feeling short-changed or less loved only increases feelings of bitterness, hurt, and jealousy. If you help one child over another, this will build bitterness and cost you your connection with your other child or children. The child you’re not helping may also be stressing about what their fiscally dependent sibling is doing to your well-being. The last thing you want to have happen is that your kids grow to resent each other.

4. Independence Leaves a Strong Legacy

When employable, mature kids get used to getting your help, you are encouraging their dependence on you. One day when you are no longer able to help them, fostering their senses of liberty, self-reliance, and self-confidence will allow them to handle successfully on their own. Like finding a job on their own at a grocery store or coin-operated washer and dryer parts business. That is a legacy to leave to your grandchildren too.

You Can’t Help Your Kids If You Neglect Your Own Well-Being

Throughout the emergency directions at the beginning of any flight, parents are instructed to put their own oxygen mask on before they help their kid put theirs on. Have you ever thought about why this is? The motive applies to our finances too. Without first taking care of your well-being, you won’t be able to help your child. No parent wants to see their child suffer. So it’s essential that you shed your feelings of guilt and look after your own well-being first. By staying healthy and happy you are better able to encourage your child through the tough times and leave them with an enduring legacy.

Ways to Give a Helping Hand, Instead of a Hand-Out

There are strategies to help your adult children without being an infinite ATM. By way of example, invite them for a weekly meal (with leftovers to take home), help with a bit of childcare, give a hand with household repairs or yard work, use the washer and dryer at your home rather than have them use the local coin-operated washers and dryers. You can even gift them something useful they need for their birthday.

As your children get older, share with them the cash lessons you learned. Everyone faces adversity at some point in their lives. Life-long money skills instill confidence that you can overcome obstacles. Winston Churchill said it nicely,”Success is not final; failure is not fatal.” Experiencing adversity builds resilience in order to pick ourselves up the next time life becomes a bumpy road and it won’t be as hard as the period before.

If You’re Worried About Their Credit Rating

You have likely heard how significant a good credit score is. Rather than give into your fears about what might occur if your child’s credit rating plummets, they need to learn it by themselves. Having a lender turn them down for a car loan because they have got late or skipped credit card payments and a maxed-out line of credit would be a logical result which will quickly teach them an important financial lesson (that yes, people do care that you honour your credit obligations).

As soon as your child starts taking positive steps with their cash, their credit score will start to recuperate. Be the cheerleader, confidant, and largest fan to produce the path to recovery a little friendlier.

Limit Your Generosity and Don’t Subsidize a Lifestyle

Be clear about why you are helping with one particular emergency expense, instead of paying off a maxed-out credit card that you know will just get used to bill another vacation. Helping with one expense is different than subsidizing a lifestyle your kids can’t afford. By putting limits on your own insecurities you are looking out for everyone’s well-being

When Kids Need More Help Than You Can Provide

If you are not able to help your child get on track with their money and debt, motivate them to seek assistance from a more non-profit credit counseling agency in their area. An impartial person may give your child the information they have been needing to hear, so that your connection with your son or daughter is preserved.

Message From This Post’s Sponsor

This blog post is brought to you by Moody Properties. If you’re looking to find and purchase your dream home or sell your current one at a good price, speak to Monica Harmse or Lucas McCann of Moody Properties. They are the top rated Port Moody Realtors. They will get you in a home, in a community they love.